Today's Mantra

Today...I will lead with Love.

Today...I will lead with Love.

Today...I will lead with Love.

November and I'm loving the cold so far...

I have been drinking Earl Grey, and I swear its the only thing I look forward to about the mornings!
Back at work after a fabulous weekend. I wish it wasn't over...but unfortunately its back to the grind! I cannot believe its november...before we know it, Christmas will be here and only God knows how we're going to afford other people's christmas presents this year. I was seriously driving home with Jimmy last night and saw people out pickin' trash in pick up trucks. I think, right about now, I am ready to throw on some heavy gloves and go join them...especially if it will bring in some more money!
All I know is that I want to concentrate on the Spirit of Christmas this year. I want to decorate and bake cookies, and finish out my fall semester as strongly as I can. I definitely have been lacking in the healthy eating department for a few weeks, so I need to really stick to my guns this week.
This week...I really have learned that the two things I hate discussing with others are Politics, and the fact that I am not Republican.
Off to the office.

So its been awhile...

Now that its October I figured I would update my blog seeing that things are moving along in my life right now. I can't help but wonder, in 75 years when the future kids of America are studying, will everyone be regarded as an author? Will they study blogs, and twitter and facebook? It just would be a bit strange. Anyway.
So I have a bit of a cold right now. Not sure if it is just the sniffles or what. But its annoying thats for sure! So...I started grad school, I still haven't eaten meat, and we are trying to buy a house! The same things, but it is just that everything is moving a little faster now.
Jamie's baby shower is on Sunday, and Julie's will be in the weeks coming after that! Its craziness to me that they both will have babies soon.
I told myself this morning that I need to move forward with my life. I think sometimes I live too much in the past and think about things in my life that I had once that were never healthy for me in the first place. I am just looking forward to focusing on me and Jim and our lives together. I took the last two night off from studying because I really was burnt out a bit with school! I was so tired and down about the one class I am taking because I just could not get the hang of creating my eportfolio. After having some help, and learning to play around with it, I am getting better at it I think. I really need to buckle down and work on it this weekend though.
Anyway, the family is fine, Ruby and Wonton are good. And the little house we are looking at is in northeast philadelphia near Morell park. If everything works out. We have some really good people in our lives and I can only thank God that they are always there for us. Family and friends alike.
Ruby has been burying herself in her sand everyday, it is so weird. She is the sandiest chameleon I have ever seen. I think she just enjoys doing it at this point. She has already laid all of her eggs.
Jenna and Mike (my sister and bf) are still really happy now that they are back together, and we are trying to go out with them next week for Halloween, which should be really fun. Now, I just have to think of costumes!

Ways to make life easier...

1.) Do a load of laundry every day...Maybe throw it in the wash at night, and put it to dry in the am. and Fold clothes when I get home from work and put away quickly!
2) 1 glass of red wine per day
3) Sit down with Jim and figure out Bills on a weekly basis
4) Do not make dinner every night. Do easy crockpot meals once or twice a week.
5.) Talk to Jimmy about his work schedule/my work schedule/and my impending school schedule.
6) Get Ruby large tub of crickets so I don't have to stop every other day. We can stop twice a week instead.
7) Set aside a day just for us every week. Its our day.
8)Wake up and exercise!!!! Then I don't have to worry about it at night
9) Figure out a end of the year plan
10) Set a day and a night aside for school work.

Tuesdays...Not late enough in the week for me!

So we have a bunch of really weird people that live in our neighborhood. And it seems like they all drive Nissans. We had a minor incident with a "could be" stalker today, and Jimmy scared him away. He was just sitting outside out house being a creep, then he continued to circle the neighborhood. He had to be there for 20 minutes just waiting, because from the time I left the house to the time Jimmy left in the am, it was about 20 mins. I just got the creeps from it.
Plus, Jen was followed by a guy in a black Murano on June 19th. I'm curious if its the same guy in different color Muranos! I really hope not. I hope its some weird, big, coincidence.
Also, someone vandalized my parents house. They kicked in their front railing. So weird, since my parents do not bother anyone, and they live in a pretty tight knit neighborhood.
Anyway... jimmy is contemplating moving to a different company (tow company) that may have an opening for him. He could pretty much increase his salary by at least 30% but then we wouldn't see one another that much. They work really long hours.
I'm on the fence about it. I told him I'd obviously support him either way, but I'd sacrifice the money if the job didn't make him happy! He hates being on call...So much.
I just want him to be happy doing what he's doing.

Bonjour, bonjour!!! Salut!

Well...Jenna is in Paris! Im so happy for her, she was so excited to go. She is there with her boyfriend Mike, and I believe her schedule goes as follows... Paris, Florence, Venice, Venice Island, Rome... Im Jealous but I know Jim and I will do something as fabulous as that one day, so for right now I'll settle for looking at some really good pictures when she gets back. I told her I want a present, a small inexpensive one of course.

So we are on track for our home savings! We want to buy a house next year sometime, and I am so excited about it. I'm sure Jimmy isn't as excited as supporting me for the next 10 months, as I am putting all of my paychecks in the bank but it will be worth it! I hope we find something we both love...in an area that we both love. We are kind of all over the place...but we will settle on a place eventually...

My neighbors are driving Jen and Jimmy and I nuts. They continually park benind our driveway, blocking us out. And they park in our driveway...they have these strange parties every night lately, and they bang and scream all night long. It sounds like 45 children were thrown in a room together fighting. It is so strange. Plus a random lady just walked into my house last night. And then walked up the stairs and didn't speak any English, and ran outside. its really annoying. They are nice, just really...I guess rude.

Oh well...Not too much longer at this house...Jimmy said my neighbors are slowly convincing him to move out of the city into a single house...So at least they are doing me somewhat of a favor..
<3

House Saving soon...First and Last BUSY weekend of summer

So I know that today is technically the first day of summer, but it has been especially hot for quite some time now, and for the last month we have been running NONSTOP! This weekend was Father's day, Jenna's Birthday, my parent's anniversary and my room mate Jen's birthday. I celebrated Jen's bday with her last weekend bc we knew this weekend was going to be too nuts! Jimmy has one last vacation obligation (destination wedding) in two weeks, and other than that we are hoping to have a relaxing summer. All of our weddings were at the end of spring, and it seems like we had neverending parties to go to, or bbqs or something...
We start saving next week...It is going to be the first check I put in the bank towards a house. I'm so excited. Jimmy is too. I can't wait to see the money stack up, hopefully over the next year people will be understanding that we can't just spend our money like we used to (not like I ever really had money to spend, but Jimmy did). Its nice to feel like you are on the same page as someone.
So my two best friends are pregnant. Julie is due on February 3rd and Jamie is due on December 23rd. It is a strange thing to have your two closest girlfriends going through something like that together, although they really haven't been talking to one another lately. Which is a bit of a shame, but I had a feeling this would happen. They both live in 2 different worlds and have been butting heads lately, basically for no reason. I have a feeling they are both going to have the same sex baby...Either two little boys or two little girls. I'm hoping they are little girls, bc I promised Julie I would buy her her first little bathing suit with a pink tutu ;-).
I have a feeling we will all grow apart soon. Not entirely, but our lives will be much more seperate than they used to be.
And they are Miserable! Julie is not miserable to me...but I know already her hormones are driving her nuts already...Im going to miss her. Jamie is very involved with her family right now, which is good, but I really just hope they don't drag her down...which they have great potential to do. I really don't have any desire though, to get too involved there. We just do not see eye to eye about certain things. How to live life actually...
I did my first Yoga class and Loved it!!!

Love Love Love

Had a fantastic weekend allll starting with an extra long nap Friday night, and waking up to an exhausted boyfriend on my couch...Saturday swimming and then an all day wedding which we successfully set up and danced our asses off. Sunday was Jimmy's Grandmom's bday, so we bbq'd and I went to work with Jimmy for like 6 hours! It was so much fun though, and we ended up at my friend Tina's house watching the Flyers. Talk about a packed weekend.
This morning I woke up with anxiety and I don't know why. I cannot wait until Februrary comes around and Jimmy and I are going to be shopping for our house together! I cannot wait, it will be a great chapter in our lives together. I love him so much, and I swear every day, just by constantly being there with me and supporting me he proves to me how much he loves me. Its just easy with him, and I never thought it would be easy. In the past sometimes I realize I was fighting to hard for people and relationships that do not matter now. It makes me sad because I feel like I see some of my friends doing that currently. Im just so glad Jimmy waited for me. I feel like he was just always there waiting for me to realize. I think sometimes, I always knew that we should be together, since we were so close to begin with, but sometimes you don't treat yourself like you deserve something that can be so wonderful. I was always struggling, and at least now, I do not have to struggle in that area anymore because I have a partner, who I am absolutely crazy about.
I know that every day brings new experiences into our lives, good and bad, but I'd really be happy to spend all of those experiences with Jimmy and share everything with him.

Today...I have missed a few weeks!

So I have been allll over the place these last couple weeks. Between work, weddings, a holiday and birthdays, I feel like I can't keep everything straight! It kind of gets me down, bc I feel like everyone expects you to be able to afford all of their individual "things." Birthdays...Dinners...BBQs... Booze...All I want to do is save for a house, and I don't ever say no! Well now it is time for me...I need to start telling people what I can and cannot afford to do, and be straight up and honest with others and myself. Because when I commit to these things that I cannot afford, I get really bitter at myself.
I'm really trying to get my act together, and Jimmy and I are trying to save for a house! Im really excited about that.
But I can't do everything! I have a lot of people in my life that I am greatful for... And I really wish that I could do fabulous things for everyone, but I have to limit myself until I have the means to do everything I want to do.
Jimmy has been really great with everything. But I really need to stop depending on him so much or else we are both going to get bitter.

Spark people!

Yah I joined spark people! Weight loss goal---50 lbs by march 11 2011. :-)

Friends

Its really strange that as we all get older, our friends change so much. I don't mean this in the sense necessarily that we always get new friends, but that the friends we do have seem so different from the people they were when we all met one another. I've had many "best friends" over the years...and most of them I still talk on and off with, if not all the time. But our lives are so different from one another. I find myself sitting back and shaking my head a lot wondering about their decisions.
I guess I'm wondering, how important is it to be good, nice, moral people in our current world? And what is acceptable? I know that I act like a bitch a few times a week, I can be crabby and lash out sometimes. Sometimes I let stress get to me. But I really wonder, what makes certain people make decisions that will intentionally hurt those around them? And how have we gotten to a point that our lives and our search for happiness only comes after creating complete unhappiness for people around us. Is it that difficult to create a good, full life without hurting others on the way to our goal? I don't understand it. I get upset.
This weekend Jimmy had a long talk with me about minding my business, and maintaining a neutral stance on all topics my friends try to drag me into. He claims this well be the only way I will not be stressed, and will not create stress for others. He claims that remaining neutral allows you not to get so entrenched in other people's business that you judge them , and cause a rift in your friendship. He claims "almost every question is a statement in disguise" and that almost everyone just wants you to tell them what they want to hear, instead of asking for real help or real advice.
He's right.
I get so involved with my friends issues I can't pick my head above water sometimes. I grew up in an environment of stress. M parent's relationship was pure stress. It still is. The household I grew up in was stress. The sports I played were stress. All I want to do is live without stress, and I'm trying really hard to find a way to do that. Its something inside me that I feel all the time.
With this blog and Jimmy I've been pretty good lately, but I need to stop forcing myself to do things. I set so many goals for myself...Its life if I don't fulfill all of these things, I think I've failed. Sometimes I think a therapist would have a field day with me. Lol...
Tonight were celebrating Mother's day with Jimmy's Mom and Grand mom. I'm looking forward to it.
Not we just have to figure out what to do with Ruby while were away!

No matter what I do, Jimmy loves me. Its this strange, real, love. I almost don't even understand it. I was thinking about it...I am so lucky. No matter what I do, say, think...he just has this ability to keep loving me. Bitch or not. Nag or not. Happy or not.
Thank goodness its friday.
Yesterday I worked out for a solid hour...I actually lifted small weights and did squats. Between them and lunges my legs are sore! So are my arms, but I really feel great! Unless its all in my head... but I really feel like I have more energy and I felt so good when I laid down to go to bed last night.
This weekend we are having a margarita party, and next wednesday were having a tiny bridal shower for Jamie. Shes so excited, I want to do something so nice for her. All the girls are coming over weds around 8 for a mini party.
There is still so much to get done pre Vegas and I feel like I don't have enough time!
My Dad is getting a minor surgery today (getting his galbladder removed) so I'm praying all goes well.
Keeping my fingers crossed.
It is a beautiful day so I'm hoping thats a good sign from God.

Im wiped... Cannot wait for Vegas

7 and a half days until Vegas. So my new "learned thing of the day by reading" started yesterday and I read an article on recycling. Yes I know we learned about recycling in elementary school, but I did not realize how forward my city was in regards to this earth friendly form of trash depositing. Apparently Philly streamlined recycling so that everything (glass, aluminum, paper, cardboard etc.) can all be put in one can and dumped in one truck! They even offer monetary rewards for how much you recycle each month. I thought that was pretty interesting...So I printed out my recycling bin sticker and am joining the program.
It just so happened that yesterday was trash day, and as I was driving home I saw a trash truck and a recycling truck leaving my neighborhood. They had murals on them! Philadelphia style, gorgeous floral murals. The trucks looked so pretty...Although I'm sure they still stink...
I feel like I've been pretty earthy lately... I even planted a pathos plant for Ruby! Its on the windowsill until it gets big and we can put it in her tank.
even Ruby is changing a bit...Her old skin is shedding and she doesn't get nervous around us anymore, especially when Jimmy feeds her. She turns green with orange and blue spots and climbs all over now, instead of just staying in one spot.
Last night I cooked Jimmy dinner (which I do pretty much every night). I made veggie and chicken quesadillas with kidney beans, salsa, rice and guacamole. He's getting spoiled.
Tonight...I'm starting my running regimen again. I'm pretty intimidated, like I'm not going to be able to do it. But I really have to get back into it, especially after getting weighed at the doctors yesterday. But I have to face reality and change my habits to get better. So it will get easier as time goes on and I change my lifestyle.

So the things I want to do on a regular basis are... because I am obsessed with making lists

Meditation (deep breathing exercises)
Running ( 3-4x per week) Stretching sit ups, lunges and squats(Everyday)
Cook Dinner (Weeknights)
Read one new article every day
Recycle

European Vaca? Or Bust...

Soooo. I was just looking up prices of my potential holiday European vacation on the Internet. Unfortunately the prices are just a bit expensive. I am not sure if I will be able to afford this by then!!! But I will do something. Another thing...Christmas and New Years both fall on weekends this year! how bad does that suck! Ugh! I thought my Holidays were going to include days off from work, but no! Alas, we will all be in work all week wishing we had days off...
And I am sick of eating red meat. I ate my first cheeseburger of the year Friday night and I felt sick afterwords. I just keep picturing the poor cows getting their heads chopped off. Morbid but true :-(... I don't think I can do it any more. Ill leave the beef to Jimmy, I'm stocking up on veggies.
Yesterday we were so lazy! Me, Jimmy, Wonton and Ruby. I thing we watched 6 movies and didn't leave the house all day. I felt like I didn't get anything accomplished. We moved from the bed to the couch, and back to the bed again...But at least I got to relax...Finally.
Plus I convinced Jimmy to go to see the Picasso exhibit at the art museum on Sunday. :-) Hes reluctant but at least hes going!

Mother's Day and meat

So...Yesterday I entered my mom in a Mother's day essay contest!!! I'm very excited because I hope she wins.  The grand prize is 250 bucks worth of spa treatment.  She deserves it.  If I do not win then I will still get her a spa day (maybe one worth a little less money!)

Also I decided last night that  I am cutting my red meat intake to once or twice a month! I just do not feel good after I eat it,  but I still crave it at least once a month.  Eventually I will probably just cut it out all together.

Plus today I managed to drop my iPhone in the toilet and cry about it.  I am so sad.  It was like my other boyfriend :-( but it didn't ever disagree with me.  

To Sew or not to Sew?

I have always said I wanted to learn to sew...For some reason I just never followed through on that aspiration. I really want to learn to sew and quilt and crochet.
I kind of pushed that desire to the side while I was painting glass, and making jewelry, adopting animals, going to craft fairs and adopting different boyfriends. I guess I always thought that I am too much of a klutz to sew.
I was discussing it with my best friend yesterday and we decided we are going to take classes at our local fabric store. The classes are relatively cheap and I figure easy to work into our schedules. I am going to sign up for sewing basic and then sewing 2, quilting and quilting 2, and crocheting.
our goal is to make some of the linens for her cousins upcoming wedding this summer. Julie and I are both really crafty, so this will just be one more thing to add to the list of stuff we know how to do. Also it will be one more easy way to be able to give friends and family home made gifts instead of store bought presents.
If i have the patience.
I have a bad habit of starting things and never finishing, or I get bored of a hobby quickly and never see how far it will take me.
This is something I am looking forward to and I hope I can develop it into a skill that I can use through out my life.
Also,
14 days until Vegas. We can't wait to get out there! I really need to get my camera fixed before we go, but I just cannot wait to be in my bathing suit at the pool with a beverage in my hand!
I love the beginning of summer!
And I fed Ruby myself for the first time today. Except that the crickets scared the S*&T out of me and I ended up dumping around 10 in her cage. Little Ruby thought she was the luckiest chameleon in the whole world. Her spots turned orange and brown and she started hunting. I watched her for so long I was almost late for work!

Goals this week-
Camera situation straightened out
Art Museum Sunday
Buy Jimmy Dinner tonight
Go Grocery shopping for Cinco Di Mayo Party next week
Sam's Bachelorette party Saturday night (where Jimmy meets my other family!)

Life boost...the ology of my life

I drink Tea every day. I try to switch it up from green to green-peach, to earl gray to Black tea to Chamomile...Aside from the fact that I love it, it always makes me feel healthier. Tea helps me think. When I'm drinking my tea I always think about my life. But I always feel like I just THINK about how to improve my life, and PLAN to do things that are more fun, healthy, and exhilarating and enriching, but I really do not DO any of them. And I know we all have the ability to do something lovely every day.


So I'm starting this to track my progress. I'm sure it will be completely boring for awhile until I actually start doing things to change things, but I'm really going to try.

So to begin with...I have a fantastic boyfriend. His name is Jimmy. He is completely lovely. He has a sense of humor that outshines mine any day, and he has a great heart. He likes to create this tough guy exterior with a lot of sarcasm (which actually compliments my opposite personality) but in reality he is a big squishy goofball. I am so lucky to have him in my life. He is my best friend. And after the slew of losers I spent the last 2 years dedicating myself to, its honestly a breath of fresh air. But for some reason, I have a tendency to ruin good things in my life without meaning to... I see myself becoming a self sabotager and I am really trying to prevent that from ever happening with this. I'm really trying.

Lately I've been noticing when I come home from work in a bad mood, I'm completely miserable to him. And he just rolls with the punches. Well...there is no reason for me to act like an evil toad...so I am going to try to chronicle every day why my life is wonderful...And record the things I do every day that make it better. And I'm hoping I am making those people around me happier too. Because everyone in my life is really a blessing. I mean...I have a great friend base. Even if its something little, I am going to make an effort to change a bit every day.

Lets hope this works, because I need a life boost.

I'm going to start with last night after work 4/22/10... In honor of earth day.
I've never been a fan of reptiles or any small "weird" animal (snakes, lizards, hamsters etc.) My boyfriend on the other hand, would live with dinosaurs if he could, so therefore he loves reptiles, amphibians and thinks snakes are cool.

I on the other hand am completely grossed out by anything without legs that can still move around smoothly.

So a few weeks ago we started watching LIFE on Discovery. We loved it. Jimmy loves learning and loves animals, I just wish I had the ability to retain information like he does. I have more of a tendency to zone out. Anyway, I realized then his love of Chameleons...And I noticed that they are cute in their little dopey way, and they have super cute feet. When they eat its pretty cool too, with their super long tongues that shoot out and catch flies.

So one day last week we stopped in a Petco to look at all of their animals ( I think pet stores are horrible by the way, and I usually want to rescue the animals more from there than from foster homes where they have loving mommies). Jimmy got super psyched when he spotted a chameleon in the store! it was the first one I had seen in person actually...
he cage was rather small. The girl there let us hold her and we kind of fell in love with her.

I never thought I would love a reptile (or even like one for that matter)

We named her Ruby and talked about her for the next few days. We agreed that we could build a home for her and set her up in my room...As long as he took full responsibility of feeding her. I do not want to have anything to do with those bugs!

We brought her home and I think she was a bit nervous. She changed colors quite a bit from having orange spots to a bright bright green color, to a darker green. She is lovely.

I feel like we rescued her, and when we move to a larger house we are going to build a big terrarium for her. She is such a sweet girl and I really hope she adjusts to her new home. I think she is a little scared right now, but hopefully soon she will get comfortable! And we love her a lot more than the Pet store!
So Jim and I's little family consists of the two of us, my kitten Wonton and now Ruby!~

When I fix my camera I will take pictures of her and post them!