Friends

Its really strange that as we all get older, our friends change so much. I don't mean this in the sense necessarily that we always get new friends, but that the friends we do have seem so different from the people they were when we all met one another. I've had many "best friends" over the years...and most of them I still talk on and off with, if not all the time. But our lives are so different from one another. I find myself sitting back and shaking my head a lot wondering about their decisions.
I guess I'm wondering, how important is it to be good, nice, moral people in our current world? And what is acceptable? I know that I act like a bitch a few times a week, I can be crabby and lash out sometimes. Sometimes I let stress get to me. But I really wonder, what makes certain people make decisions that will intentionally hurt those around them? And how have we gotten to a point that our lives and our search for happiness only comes after creating complete unhappiness for people around us. Is it that difficult to create a good, full life without hurting others on the way to our goal? I don't understand it. I get upset.
This weekend Jimmy had a long talk with me about minding my business, and maintaining a neutral stance on all topics my friends try to drag me into. He claims this well be the only way I will not be stressed, and will not create stress for others. He claims that remaining neutral allows you not to get so entrenched in other people's business that you judge them , and cause a rift in your friendship. He claims "almost every question is a statement in disguise" and that almost everyone just wants you to tell them what they want to hear, instead of asking for real help or real advice.
He's right.
I get so involved with my friends issues I can't pick my head above water sometimes. I grew up in an environment of stress. M parent's relationship was pure stress. It still is. The household I grew up in was stress. The sports I played were stress. All I want to do is live without stress, and I'm trying really hard to find a way to do that. Its something inside me that I feel all the time.
With this blog and Jimmy I've been pretty good lately, but I need to stop forcing myself to do things. I set so many goals for myself...Its life if I don't fulfill all of these things, I think I've failed. Sometimes I think a therapist would have a field day with me. Lol...
Tonight were celebrating Mother's day with Jimmy's Mom and Grand mom. I'm looking forward to it.
Not we just have to figure out what to do with Ruby while were away!